Gheez. OK, I am really going to post this...
You know when you have a goal or goals, in my case, and they just seem unreachable?
Well, this is what has been going on the past week for me. I have just felt, not that into it, not that into anything really. It makes me feel so defeated.
Here is what kicked it off.
Sunday was crazy, "unplanned", if you will.
Monday started off with me being sick.
Tuesday was spent playing catch up.
AND...
Wednesday, finally felt normal.But still, something was weighing me down. I wasn't looking forward to anything. Nothing was exciting.
AN "AHHH HAAA" MOMENT:
So last night, I went to a bible study, my first one EVER. It's a 9 week study entitled,
Miss Perfect.
Beyond PM: Miss Perfect
Miss Perfect. We hate her, but we still feel compelled to try to be
her. Stop trying to be everything to everyone; start being the woman
God designed you to be. His design is not a life of pressure. If you
missed last semester, here is your chance to jump in! Take a deep
breath, and join us on Wednesday evenings so you can trade in your
pressure for true purpose.
I felt like this class was totally speaking to me. The overwhelmed Mom, Wife, Full Time Employee, etc. It was a light that that was lit. Totally me, at this point.
Nothing was good enough, things weren't PERFECT.
As much as I want them to be, they just are not.
But, really, what is PERFECT?
Does God want me to strive to be PERFECT? NO! He has made me who I am by totally NOT being PERFECT. He doesn't want me to be someone I am not, someone who is unreachable, someone who is focusing on everything around me left to only feel pressured and defeated. This isn't his plan for me. God wants me to seek him for direction when these feelings overcome me.
Back to my GOALS:
I had big plans for project life, the
blog, LIFE, just everything and I am just feeling so bogged down. Like I
am not enjoying these things, at all. It's a really bad place to be and
a really bad feeling.
{Where am I going?}
So, for now,
my GOAL,
is to be held accountable for this study.
The next 9 weeks, I am going to focus on NOT being Miss Perfect and seeking what my maker is trying to show me. Devoting my time to studying this topic.
Where he is leading me, what drives me to be my OWN perfect.
That's all.
PS: I am having a fabulous ENLIGHTENED Thursday, Are you?
